Life

Living

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Oscar Wilde

 

At a guess, my favourite boots have about 17 km left in them before the soles give way. I have been walking in them for almost five years, and I walk a lot. Faced with that fact, I must assume the task of replacing them. However, I have been through enough failed shoes in life to know it will take time and patience to find a pair that fits my feet (think Hobbit, but not hairy) and that I don´t mind wearing for another five years or so.

The quote above challenges me to ask, how much living happened in all that walking? There is enough activity for proof of existence, but how much of it was on automatic pilot? Life is full of so many repeated activities that some days it seems the hamster wheel is as good as it gets.

This corner of Nexus is where we listen to our lives. It’s a space for attending to the small connections and daily encounters that overflow their moment and tell us something that carries us beyond ‘existing’ into the greater flow of living meaningfully. We share them in the hope that they will light another’s path or refresh them along the way.

Andrea, Feb 2020

 

Mr. Kato Plays Family by Michiko Flašar

Mr. Kato Plays Family by Michiko Flašar

“Mr. Kato Plays Family” by Michiko Flašar is a quiet, sensitive novel that stays with you long after reading. Anyone expecting a loud, dramatic story will be surprised—for this book draws its strength from small moments, in the gaps of everyday life. At the center is Mr. Kato, a man who can be hired to play the role of a family member. He steps in where closeness is missing: as a temporary husband, father, or son. What initially seems like a bizarre idea quickly turns out to be a touching exploration of loneliness, longing, and the question of what family actually means.

Fresh Water for Flowers by Valérie Perrin

Fresh Water for Flowers by Valérie Perrin

This novel tells the story of Violette, a cemetery caretaker in a small town in Burgundy(France). Visitors, both occasional and regular, come to her home to warm up and chat. We discover her past through a poignant narrative, tinged with humor and suspense.

Listening to Stories from Around the Globe

Listening to Stories from Around the Globe

Learning to engage with stories through film has been a major field of precious discovery for me in the past decades. It has given me more than one life. It has offered me a rich palette of human and cultural colors in life’s diverse experiences and challenges. I have been allowed to share in the challenges, the joys and the griefs people have experienced in a multitude of cultural situations, some very similar to my own, many very different to mine. It has helped me to understand better my own perceptions, emotions, strengths and weaknesses. I am sure that it has enhanced my empathy, to understand better how the same experience can impact people in very different ways.

Exercises in Imagination

Exercises in Imagination

The word that stays with me after the closure of our local Gothenburg film festival is imagination. I am once more impressed by the potential of film to stir and exercise the imagination. I have been allowed to think thoughts and explore emotions that I would not have done without the films I’ve watched. The ability to see beyond our currently experienced reality towards new possibilities is so important for our emotional well-being. It energizes, reduces stress and enhances empathy.  

My Best Films of 2025 – from Rinus

My Best Films of 2025 – from Rinus

From 2019 onward I have shared with you my list of the best films of the past year. My list contains the films that I truly care about and have communicated something to me that I continue to carry with me. They have the potential to prompt valuable discussions aligned with our Nexus key ideas. Of course, this list is limited to the ones I managed to see throughout the year. Some of the films I’ve written about during 2025. In my short introductions to each film, I’ve used parts of those longer presentations that you will find in the film section.

A Courageous Voice – Jafar Panahi

A Courageous Voice – Jafar Panahi

Last week the Iranian director Jafar Panahi was handed a one-year prison sentence, and a travel ban in Iran. He was at that moment in New York to receive prizes for his latest film It Was Just an Accident. He commented that he planned to return. Twice before he has spent time in prison. It was conversations with other political prisoners, telling him about violence and brutality in the prisons of the regime, that inspired him to shoot this film.

A Poem for living: The Layers by Stanley Kunitz

A Poem for living: The Layers by Stanley Kunitz

The thoughtful facilitator of our poetry group recently introduced us to Stanley Kunitz. I was grateful for his choice and the opportunity to meet such a profound poet. Our experience with the poet was enhanced by listening to him read his works. The combination of Kunitz’s energetic elderly voice, with its inflections and pauses, along with the imagery of the words made for an insightful discussion.

The Life Impossible by Matt Haig

The Life Impossible by Matt Haig

This month’s international women’s book club reading told the story of Grace, a 72-year old widow who abandons her gray life in England to take possession of a small house she mysteriously inherits in Ibiza. A retired maths teacher, Grace needs to solve the puzzle of this unforeseen event.

When Fall Is Coming directed by François Ozon

When Fall Is Coming directed by François Ozon

The French director François Ozon is a prolific filmmaker, who since his feature debut film Sitcom from 1988 has delivered one new film after another, almost one every year. And you can never be sure what topic or in which genre he will deal with in his next film. The ones I have liked most so far have been Frantz from 2016, Everything Went Fine from 2021 and Swimming Pool from 2003. Now I add another one to this shortlist: When Fall Is Coming from 2023.

Jazz in the hills

Jazz in the hills

This particular fall Saturday afternoon was fortunately sunny and warm. The green hills in this countryside setting were alive with music coming from cowbells dangling around the necks of these docile animals scattered across the hillside where they happily grazed. One by one cars started angling down the winding gravel road into this country hamlet and found their way to a temporary home in a nearby field.  People showed up with two items, a folding chair and a dish prepared at home to share afterwards with everyone who would come. What is happening in the hills at an altitude of 1100 meters, 45 minutes above Verona? 

The Briar Club by Kate Quinn

The Briar Club by Kate Quinn

The Briar Club by Kate Quinn tells the story of seven women who live in the Briarwood Boarding House in Washington D.C. in the 1950’s. The book takes place during the Cold War and the McCarthy Era, when fear of being turned over to the government for having “communist leanings”exists and causes mistrust and secrecy. The book begins with a murder taking place in the house on Thanksgiving night. Each of the women and their guests are potential suspects and in the pages that follow, we learn about their individual stories.

Sentimental Value directed by Joachim Trier

Sentimental Value directed by Joachim Trier

Having followed the career of the Norwegian director Joachim Trier since his debut feature film Reprise from 2007, I was excited to get the opportunity last week to see his latest film Sentimental Value. This film had its debut at Cannes in May this year, receiving a 19-minutes standing ovation. And it is truly a masterpiece! With his 2022 film The Worst Person in the World Trier got his breakthrough as an international filmmaker, but with Sentimental Value he writes himself into film history. There were moments in the film that reminded me of Bergman and/or Fellini.

Hard Truths by Mike Leigh

Hard Truths by Mike Leigh

When I started to become serious with my film watching after 2007, Mike Leigh was one of the directors who caught my early attention. The first one of Leigh’s films I watched was Secrets andLies (1996), soon followed by films like Naked (1993), Topsy-Turvy (1999), All or Nothing (2002) and Vera Drake (2004), as well as his earlier TV-work like Abigail’s Party (1977) and Meantime (1983). It opened the whole genre of British social realism for me. Since then, if only possible, I will not miss a new film by directors like Mike Leigh, Ken Loach, Andrea Arnold, Lynn Ramsey and Clio Barnard.

The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store By James McBride

The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store By James McBride

James McBride once again brings to the reader an exquisite tale mixing raw reality with life-giving hope and love. Set in the 1920’s and 30’s in eastern United States, it is a time of Jewish immigration from Europe and the on-going black migration from the South toward the North. Music of Big Band Swing, Jazz, the Blues, and the Cuban-Afro touch is moving through dance theaters, Jim Crow laws are eagerly lived out, and those that consider themselves the “real Americans” are busily establishing their appropriate ancestral ties with the use of tall tales and imagination.

The Room Next Door by Pedro Almodovar

The Room Next Door by Pedro Almodovar

Spanish director Pedro Almodovar’s English-language debut film, winner of the Venice Golden Lion 2024, is a heartfelt, meditative, crafty work of a filmmaker who keeps developing with age.The issues he brings up  belong to his phase of life, which can make it hard to feel the depth of those emotions when you’re twenty years younger or so. Mortality, regret, memory, loss of curiosity and pleasure which comes with older age are the issues he tackles in this film.

Disappearing Ways of Life – The Films of Vittorio de Seta

Disappearing Ways of Life – The Films of Vittorio de Seta

De Seta’s films were often praised for their poetic and visual quality. They show the beauty and simplicity of everyday life in scenes of swordfish fishing, sulfur mining, mending of nets and boats, farming and shepherding. In his short 11 minute documentaries he shows the craft of manual labor, the beauty of the sea and countryside, the communal spirit and bonds, laying out the regional culture of the early Fifties in southern Italy. In a later interview he mentioned that he at the time was not aware that that way of life would disappear within a few years.

Small Pleasures by Clare Chambers

Small Pleasures by Clare Chambers

Set in the south of England, in 1957, we meet Jean Swinney, a downtrodden dutiful daughter, who lives with and cares for her mother, and works at the local newspaper. At the start of the book, Jean seems resigned to her drab existence, fuelled by ‘duty and decency’, and her aspirations are low. When she is assigned a story investigating an alleged virgin birth, little does she know that this will change her life beyond recognition.

The Red Address Book by Sofia Lundberg

The Red Address Book by Sofia Lundberg

Within the pages of 96-year- Old Doris’s red address book are the names of all those she has loved and lost, telling the story of a colorful life. Living alone in Stockholm, she is comforted by the weekly calls of her grand-niece Jenny, who is haunted by a painful childhood. Finally, Doris decides to put pen to paper, using her address book to recall the memories of a life well-lived. From Paris runways of the 1930s to narrow New York escapes during World War II. What she and Jenny discover may well change their lives forever…

A Nexus Book-Hug for Rinus

A Nexus Book-Hug for Rinus

For several years, Alberto and Dan have met regularly to discuss art and life with Rinus and other Nexus friends. We have covered topics such as art, literature, religion and history, yet most of all, our interactions are about life, usually over a good meal in a friendly environment. Recently we 3 spent a few days together on the Mediterranean coast, visiting art museums and taking in select films. In an open, honest and friendly interaction about a topic that has fascinated us, Pucela Team (Alberto and Dan) presented Rinus with a series of essays triggered by Rinus’ key text, “Dreaming.”

A Poem by Billy Collins: Osprey

A Poem by Billy Collins: Osprey

I am a latecomer to the poetry of Billy Collins, but after reading one of his poems for the first time this April, I wondered how I could possibly have missed him!  He is a former Poet Laureate of the United States and Poet Laureate of New York State.  His poetry is presented as simple observations that are insightful and powerful, often tinged with wit and humour, with multiple layers of meaning.  I get the impression that for Collins everything in life, regardless of how mundane, has a poem embedded in it, and is worth being curious about. 

Further Beyond – All Journeys Begin with a Dream

Further Beyond – All Journeys Begin with a Dream

Lately I have become more and more captivated by the work of the Irish co-directors Christine Molloy and Joe Lawler. They started their film-making under the production title Desperate Optimists in 2004 with a number of short films leading to Joy in 2008. Joy is a 9 minutes film about a girl who has gone missing after a farewell from her friends in the local park. Their next production was their debut feature film Helen (2008) about a classmate of Joy who is asked to play the Joy part in a police-organized reconstruction. Seeing this film Helen and their next one Mister John (2013) with similar themes made me fascinated by their unique approach to filmmaking and to their original, somewhat mysterious, grasp of identity themes.

A Girl Returned (L’Arminuta) by Donatella di Pietrantonio

A Girl Returned (L’Arminuta) by Donatella di Pietrantonio

This book is a riveting story of a 13 year old girl who, after having been raised in an affluent home in the city by a couple she knew as her parents, was suddenly returned with no explanation to her poverty stricken birth family that she hadn’t even known existed. This novel is set in central Italy in the 1960s and is based on the author’s memories of hearing about poor families with numerous children who would give one of their kids to a relative unable to have children to unofficially adopt and raise.

Vermiglio by Maura Delpero

Vermiglio by Maura Delpero

Maybe the most exquisite film I saw at the Gothenburg Film Festival. It has stayed with me, in my heart and mind, just for its stunning emotional force. I find myself longing to see it again, also because there is so much detail from faces and events to take in. The film transports us into another time and place in a quiet and powerful manner with magnificent landscapes and great, natural acting.

Highlights From the Gothenburg Film Festival 2025

Highlights From the Gothenburg Film Festival 2025

Films from more than 80 countries were shown at this year’s film festival in my hometown Gothenburg. This year’s theme was defiance, the power of civil resistance. Filmmakers have taken risks sharing their story with us. They feel they need to do so in defense of their humanity and dignity. They believe in the potential of film to change how people feel and think.

My Best Films of 2024

My Best Films of 2024

I still owe you my list of the best films of the past year. It contains the films that I truly care about and continue to carry with me. The ones that I believe will stay relevant, because they open up important reflections and discussions in line with our Nexus key ideas. Of course this list is limited to the ones I managed to see throughout the year. Some of the films I’ve written about during 2024. I’ve used parts of those longer presentations that you will find in the film section.

The Sacrifice by Andrei Tarkovsky

The Sacrifice by Andrei Tarkovsky

It is always helpful to see films like The Sacrifice in company. Because this film is not an easy watch with its long clips, its symbolism and its length. It needs more than two eyes and ears to decode its poetic images and its contemplative monologues and dialogues. Shortly after the finishing of this film project in 1986, Tarkovsky died of brain cancer in a Paris hospital at the age of 54. Problems with the Soviet system and its film censorship caused him not to return to Russia after the making of his film Nostalghia in Italy in 1984. He shot The Sacrifice on the Swedish island of Faro, where Ingmar Bergman lived and made many of his films. Tarkovsky used a Swedish crew and Swedish actors. He admired Bergman and the themes and cinematography in this film remind of Bergman’s work.

What You Can See From Here by Mariana Leky

What You Can See From Here by Mariana Leky

Luise is at the center of the story. In the first part of the book, she is in the fourth grade, later a grown woman. Her school friend Martin, her grandmother Selma, and her grandmother’s platonic friend, the optician, play important roles in her life. They all live in a village and are a small community of destiny. This story that deals with the big themes of life – friendship and love, courage and despair, tradition and change, life and death.

Green Border – Our humanitarian crisis

Green Border – Our humanitarian crisis

Green Border by the Polish director Agnieszka Holland was awarded with the Special Jury Prize at the 2023 Venice Filmfestival. I had to wait till last week to watch this movie at our local cinema, where the film had its premiere in Sweden. It was made into a special occasion with a video-recorded introduction by the director and with a panel conversation after the movie.The film has been presented as the most compelling film of the year. It deals with the refugee crisis in Europe. The green border refers to the passage in the vast, virtually impenetrable forests at the Polish-Belorussian border, a green corridor cynically created in the autumn of 2021 by the Belorussian dictator Alexander Lukasjenko. Refugees from the Middle East and Africa were attracted to that piece of barbed-wired border through propaganda promising them an easy passage into the EU.

Vengeance as a Dead-End Street – Two films of Robert Guédiguian

Vengeance as a Dead-End Street – Two films of Robert Guédiguian

”The man who seeks vengeance is like a fly banging into a window failing to see that the door is wide open.” This old Armenian proverb comes on the screen at the end of the 2008 film Lady Jane from the French director Robert Guédiguian. Guédiguian is of Armenian descent on his father’s side, but is born and has grown up in Marseille. He still lives in Marseille where he shot many of his films, among them Marius and Jeanette (1997), The Town is Quiet (2000), the already mentioned Lady Jane and Don’t Tell Me the Boy Was Mad (2015).

The Door by Magda Szabo

The Door by Magda Szabo

The Door was written and takes place in Budapest, Hungary during the communist regime ( which is why it was not published until 1987). It is a fascinating story about a 20 year relationship between a struggling writer and her housekeeper. Emerence the housekeeper is an elderly, private woman with a traumatized past.  She has a strong and driven personality and is very rude and frank. Although she is extremely helpful to everyone, she will not accept help for herself.

Soil: The Story of a Black Mother’s Garden by Camille T. Dungy

Soil: The Story of a Black Mother’s Garden by Camille T. Dungy

We were waiting for our flight out to California and having a few minutes free, I decided to check the offerings at the airport bookstore. Often, a few new popular reads are tucked in between the usual fare. I was not disappointed! Soil: The Story of a Black Mother’s Garden caught my eye and after taking a photo of the cover, I had to wait another two weeks before checking it out of our local library. It was definitely worth the wait.

Imagining Another World

Imagining Another World

Stéphane Brizé is the French counterpart of Brit Ken Loach. After The Measure of a Man (2015) and At War (2018) he completed his trilogy of films on the subject of the working-class with Another World (2021). In the first two films the angle is from the worker’s side who is pressured by company decisions and demands. In Another World the issue is presented from the side of the plant manager, Philippe, who is running a factory as part of an international conglomerate of companies. The film does not start at the working place but at a lawyer’s office with a difficult divorce arrangement meeting with his wife and her lawyer. She expresses the neglect she has felt, expressing that in the past two years Philippe only had six weekends away from office, and when he was at home he always took his work along.

From Dali’s World to Mine

From Dali’s World to Mine

Recently I had the opportunity with my wonderful sister to experience an immersive art presentation featuring the artist, Salvador Dalí. I know, for purists, this form of art is looked down on, but I can’t help returning to such events to surround myself with the beauty of the images and the music. The presentation started with his early works focused on the incredible colors of the Catalan countryside. Much of the rest of the exhibition focused on his well-known surrealist period, the period that reflected the influence of Bunel and Freud. Dalí hoped his depiction of melting clocks and appalling towers would push the viewer to ponder “the connections between our nightmares and reality.”

Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell

Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell

This is a historical fiction based on a few facts and enigmas surrounding the son of a very famous author, who remains unnamed in the book. Maggie O’Farrell cleverly weaves these fragments into a story that shifts the spotlight to his wife, and the cataclysm that rocks the family when they lose their son to plague.

Stories From the Global Refugee Crisis

Stories From the Global Refugee Crisis

The global refugee crisis is giving rise to a large number of stories that need to be told and to be listened to. The displacement of people because of war, conflict or drought has reached an all time high. The pressures this brings on people in receiving countries feeling that this endangers their own peace and prosperity, givIng more and more rise to reactionary responses. All the more important to listen carefully to the stories of desperation and struggle people go through in their forced attempts to find places of safety and peace that most of us are so used to.

The Buddha in the Attic – Julie Otsuka

The Buddha in the Attic – Julie Otsuka

Looking for a future, a group of young Japanese women board a ship bound for San Francisco to become brides of fellow countrymen already living there. With only their fiancés’ photograph and a few belongings, they make the arduous journey with hopes of better days ahead. When they arrive in America they are met with many challenges and hardships. These women must find the strength and resilience needed to survive in an environment that is not only indifferent but often hostile to them.

More Fascinating Festival Films

More Fascinating Festival Films

Here are a few other films that I watched and found highly fascinating at the 2024 Gothenburg Film Festival. They have caught my attention and I continue to remember and care for the stories told in these films. Each one of them drew me in and added something to my understanding of life, of what is meaningful and precious in life.

River Sing Me Home – Eleanor Shearer

River Sing Me Home – Eleanor Shearer

The setting for this story rooted in history is the Caribbean of the 1830’s..We meet Rachel, a woman defined by no memory of a mother or father, a life of exhausting field work, and the loss of her eleven children. When faced with the bitter truth of the ambiguities of British Emancipation, she flees the plantation during the night. Desperation and fear move her to run, and keep running, seeking a freedom she has never known, and deeply longing to once again hold the five children that were taken from her and sold.

Perfect Days – How to Live

Perfect Days – How to Live

One of the 2024 Academy Awards nominees in the category International Feature Films is Perfect Days nominated by Japan. The director is Wim Wenders, a German veteran director with an impressive list of films and documentaries on his merit list. In 2020 Wenders was invited to make a documentary about the Tokyo city initiative to make its public toilets stylish. Instead he decided to make a feature film in which these stylish toilets play a central role. It became Perfect Days, the story about the life of Hirayama, a quiet, unassuming middle-aged toilet cleaner, presenting him seemingly as the embodiment of contentment.

Highlights From the Gothenburg Film Festival 2024

Highlights From the Gothenburg Film Festival 2024

Once again a week of cineastic delight and inspiration to reflect has come to an end! Our local film festival this year offered 240 films from 82 countries. It is amazing to have access to this kind of advanced storytelling and to be able to share that experience in the company of friends to digest impressions and thoughts with! In a number of articles I want to share with you the films I particularly responded to and of which I feel that they contain much Nexus related content and inspiration. I hope that it may inspire you to take the occasion to watch these movies when these films come your way.

2023 Nobel Prize Winner Jon Fosse’s “A Shining”

2023 Nobel Prize Winner Jon Fosse’s “A Shining”

A man bored with life decides to act. Inspired, he gets in his car and drives, turning right at the first intersection and then left at the following intersection and then right at the next corner and so on. Eventually, he gets stuck in the deep snow of a dense forest. The story thus begins. The 2023 Nobel Prize for Literature winner, Jon Fosse, gives us in “A Shining” a short but stunning look into the mind of his unnamed protagonist.

Best Films of 2023

Best Films of 2023

Once again I offer you my list of the best films of the past year. This time I felt it was unusually easy to collect ten films that I particularly cared about. Even to the degree that I needed a shared 9th and 10th place! Of course this list is limited to the ones I managed to see through the year. I am very aware that I have missed important films, but I trust that this list, if needed, will be supplemented through the comments offered by the readers.

Monster – A gripping contemporary family portrait

Monster – A gripping contemporary family portrait

Monster by the Japanese director Hirokazu Koreeda is among the best films you can see this year. I am always eagerly anticipating Koreeda’s next film ever since I saw his 1998 film After Life (which according to me is still his best one). With films like Nobody Knows (2004), I Wish (2011), Like Father Like Son (2013), Our Little Sister (2015) and Shoplifters (2018) he has established himself as the number one family portrayer of contemporary life.

A Song of the Dolomiti

A Song of the Dolomiti

A free musical improvisation set in the spectacular soul-opening Dolomite mountains in northern Italy. J Kyle Gregory, trumpet, Bill Koehler, bass.

The Power of Books

The Power of Books

In our new BookClub we read the book: The Cat Who Saved Books by Sosuke Natsukava.

A boy, Rintaro, lives in a little second hand bookshop with his grandfather. He loves reading, sitting in this world of wonderful books, which has become a refuge for this reclusive, orphaned high-school student.

When his grandfather dies, Rintaro is left completely alone. He cannot decide what to do. Sell the shop? Where to live? Continue school?

Story to Story Questions

Story to Story Questions

Here are 10 Nexus questions for connecting new stories to our own life-stories. I originally wrote them for narrative forms, but they could also be reimagined for non-narrative forms, including films, music, poetry, paintings and nature encounters.

Anatomy of a Fall – directed by Justine Triet

Anatomy of a Fall – directed by Justine Triet

Anatomy of a Fall is a courtroom drama. The film starts with introducing us to the little family which is soon to be struck by a tragedy. Sandra Voyter, a successful novelist and translator, is interviewed in their French Alps chalet by a graduate student. Their 10 year old son Daniel, blind since an accident at age 4, goes out for a walk with his dog. Sandra’s husband, Samuel, is fixing up the chalet, hammering and sawing at the top floor, with very loud music on. The interview becomes impossible through the noise, Sandra ends it and goes to bed to take a nap. Daniel, coming back after the walk, discovers his father dead lying on the snow with a severe wound at his head. Soon the investigation is on: did Samuel fall from the top window, did he jump or was he pushed by his wife?

The Book of Fire by Christy Lefteri

The Book of Fire by Christy Lefteri

This book is so good that I could not stop reading.

A family lives a simple life in a little Greek village. Their life goes up in flames when a fire breaks out, running to avoid the flames, swimming to hang on to a piece of wood.

Five life lessons from jazz

Five life lessons from jazz

One short description of Nexus:All around the world, Nexus gathers a room full of people together for a life-opening conversation. We share encounters with new stories, song, poems and images that speak to our lives, turning us towards and for one another.That’s what happened on a recent Saturday evening in Verona, Italy, as we gathered folks to reflect together on five lessons from jazz about how to be together in the world. Guitarist Peo Alfonso, bassist Franco Testa and trumpeter J Kyle Gregory played a set of five songs by pianist Bill Evans. Prior to each song Kyle shared a thought that comes from the jazz world, but could also be applied in our everyday world.

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