This past May, Nexus hosted a global event online where people around the world met to explore the theme of vulnerability through a film, a live concert, and poetry. Our poetry event was wonderfully facilitated by spoken-word poet Brittany Williams of Atlanta. She asked attendees to compose their own poetic statements, expressing their personal experiences of vulnerability, or any experience that they wanted to share. To write poetry is a courageous act of vulnerability. Here are some of the poems we shared…

Vulnerability

When I think of being vulnerable
I feel fear.
Why?
Sometimes I don’t know why
And sometimes I do…
I’m afraid you will think poorly of me
That you won’t accept me as I am
That you won’t love me
When you see my blemishes,
And where would I be without love?

NN

I Put on my Shoes

I put on my shoes,
but what if I put them on upside down.
Would that mean I could walk on the ceiling, that I could float?
Would I appear the wrong way up, would I appear wrong?
Would someone try and change me, try and put me the “right way up,”
but what is the right way up?
Would people look at me and watch, think, question?
If I turned round, would someone say well done or would someone look me in the eye and tell me not to change for someone else.

AB

Lupo (the dog)

He races off at speed,
in fear I worry he will never stop, and just keep on going forever.
But just as I form my lips to call him, he turns.
His body is set into a curve back to me, but he doesn’t slow down, just angling himself into a turn.
Then once he is facing me, he locks into a course towards me like a heat seeking missile.
His pace increases, his ears are flapping backwards in the wind revealing a little pointed snout and black glassy button eyes which are fixed onto mine.
He hurtles in pure abandon back to his mummy.

NB

Little Things with Great Love

Little things with great love,
How do I show they are from above?
What are the words I need to say?
Or do I just need to pray?
Friends and colleagues come and go.
What do I give them? What do I show?
Is it enough to just be myself
And trust His work He does Himself?

DT

Blank Spaces

Filling out the blank form darkened the whole day.
Not for what I knew to put down but what spaces I left blank.
He was Mr. and I was not.
Now he is not and what am I, Mr.?
He was always there but often silent.
I wish I knew him better.
I don’t even know what his mother was like.
But knowing is more than facts, there is presence.
A presence often overshadowed by others, but one that gave
Assurance, solutions, and care.
As his body and mind were failing
his smile and laugh could change a moment for a week.
Sobs at the airport or on the front porch were the most eloquent expression of his love.
Memory and tears are what I have left to express mine.

CC

My Poem

Looking in the mirror
I don’t see clearly
I am falling down, down
I am alone, and not alone
It is like a flower just before it dies
I can’t stop it
I see myself as a little girl
I can’t help myself
Is there anybody who understands?
Is there anybody who sees my tears?
I can’t help it
I can’t see it
I feel it
I feel the sorrow of losing myself
Losing a year
Losing my inner joy
All those tears
Where?
Why?
For what?
And then a piece of music
Where the voices are crying out
And I cry too
Giving me peace
Is God there in the music?
Is God holding me?

JB

It is a surprise, where I am standing now.
A poetry of my own life to write.
Is there something to say with honor and pride?

SH

I no longer fit in the footsteps I was used to walking.
I´m getting out of rhythm, stumbling, sliding.
I´m unsecure, I`m scared.
Until I slowly find my own footsteps in new ones,
my own track.

TH

Hello Vulnerability

Hello my difficult friend
I have to admit that when I first catch a glimpse of you
I don’t smile, I feel a pit in my stomach like an abyss
Like when I stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon
Leaned over the protective rail and looked down
Observing that little bit of terror
Well, I would like to welcome you better, at least part of me
Because now that I’ve lived more I realize you’re never far away
You just quietly stand in the corner of every room I’m in
Silent and motionless
But noticing your presence
With a wink or a nod
Feels like the only honest-to-life thing to do
If I am ever going to learn to be real with reality.

KG

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

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