The night sky lights up with a sudden flash, and all other stars fade into greater distance as the focus of observers on a planet a lightyear away, fixates on the explosive scene unfolding in the vault above their heads. They will ‘oooo’ and ‘ahhh’. It may be discussed on news networks and social media feeds, “did you see that star light up last night?!”, as people recount the cosmic experience with relative excitement.

They will describe the radiant burst, the short glow to follow, and then the black nothing that engulfs the space where a star used to be. This is how we experience a supernova from Earth. We see the bright burnout of a star at the end of its life and celebrate it for the effect we see from our perspective — not fully appreciating the rapid collapse of the core and the violent explosion that led to the star’s demise.

We do the same thing with people. We watch them run fast and burn out trying to attain significance in life by reaching a measure of success, and we celebrate the bright burst their burnout displays in our news feeds. Then, we replace their now empty space in the world with another soul who works so hard to prove their value, not realizing that they already are valuable just for who they are.

I have spent most of my life up to this point trying very hard to burn as bright as possible, hoping that if I somehow outshone the expectations of everyone around me, I’d reach a level of success that would finally prove me worthy of the basic needs of a human soul existing on our third rock from the sun — love and acceptance. I worked hard all through grade school and college. I got the internships and applied for the jobs. I hunted and searched for all the things I was told a successful life is made of.

I finally landed a job with the degree I spent five years earning, working for a company that many deem the pinnacle of accomplishment. It gave me and my family great pride to announce what I’d moved out to California to do and who was paying me to do it. I hoped that feeling of pride would be enough to suppress the sinking feeling that greeted me every morning for the next four years and eight months. A feeling that haunted me in the worst way saying, “You’ve done it. You’ve done everything they told you to do. You’ve gotten where they said you should — it still isn’t enough.”

I would have to run faster and work harder at something I didn’t love in order to maintain the “success” I’d finally accomplished. But just like a star before it explodes, my core could no longer carry the weight and heat of the expectations placed on me. After years of trying to bury this voice under rationale and logic, the pressure finally got to me. I burned out. I was the star that everyone was watching burn with great pride not realizing that the explosion they’d gathered to witness would be the end of me.

In the US, burnout is now officially classified as a symptom of potentially greater mental stress and illness. It has taken decades of professional, emotional, and mental casualties for our society to finally realize that we have a problem. Chasing an “American Dream” is causing levels of burnout, stress, depression and anxiety that at one point would have been praised as a marker of success and is now being seen for what it really is — just how far disconnected we’ve become from what it means to be human. To live. To thrive. To make a living doing what you love instead of sacrificing our souls for status, dollars, and social media likes.

I wrote the poem ‘SuperNova’ for a specially curated event. However, the words were inspired by what I myself was experiencing at the time I was asked to contribute a custom piece to a conversation about what it means to live a life of purpose. As an artist, I believe that my life and the things I experience are the perfect canvas to create from because it is real. My hope is that this piece encourages anyone who hears it to look at their life and what they are doing and ask themselves, “Do I believe that I am already valuable, and am I burning out chasing after something I already possess?” Value. Worth. Significance… Love.

Brittany Williams, Bspokeit the Poet, Nov 2019

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