How to host a Nexus event

Nexus events need facilitation. This responsibility can be carried by a single person or a small team. In places where events happen with a regular rhythm, willing group members can take turns facilitating events. Facilitation comprises both advance planning and conducting things as the event happens.

Facilitation can be learned as we observe what helps people open their lives together. Stories, songs, poems, paintings, etc., are crucial to this opening. Educational consultant Parker Palmer refers to these works as a “third thing.” The function of the third thing is to provide a shared experience that moves us on the inside. He explains:

“I call these embodiments ‘third things’ because they represent neither the voice of the facilitator nor the voice of a participant. They have voices of their own, voices that tell the truth about a topic but, in the manner of metaphors, tell it indirectly. Mediated by a third thing, truth can emerge from, and return to, our awareness at whatever pace and depth we are able to handle, sometimes inwardly in silence, sometimes aloud in community. With the help of a good metaphor, the soul is more likely than usual to have something to say.” 

Facilitators select “third things” felt to be relevant to our daily lives, using sounds, images, metaphors, and narratives that touch on our anxieties, hopes and dreams. They also prepare and improvise open-ended and relevant questions that help conversations go deeper into what we encounter together. A basic first question that helps us get started in a good direction is to simply ask the group: “What struck you?”

The facilitator has an additional role of ensuring that the space remains welcoming for all involved. We avoid fixing, correcting, or even advising one another in order to project a sense of safety — that this is a space where we don’t need to hide. With practice, this facilitating mindset can be absorbed by all participants.

We often break larger groups into small sets of three to five people, creating more conversational space for each individual. We never put people on the spot. All sharing must be voluntary. Facilitators can invite, but they don’t prod or push. They model good listening for the group, demonstrating attention and empathy towards whoever is sharing their story. The facilitator’s primary goal is to help every person feel that their voice is valued.

If you are interested in learning to be a Nexus facilitator, we can help you with ongoing coaching and support. Please contact us